Sybil Starlight's Blog

HOLY WOW

Hi Everyone!



First and foremost, thank you all so very much for your continued support, patience, and kindness. You have all been so wonderful and kind. I wanted to let you all know that it means the world to me to read your messages and comments on the site. Getting little hearts on my sets and on my instagram always brightens my life. I really do read them and they make me smile and make my heart sing. I'm very sorry that I haven't been able to give you all the time that you deserve. These last few months have had me spread so thin, I've been completely exhausted. I am presently working on all of the replies I owe you and I can't emphasize how sorry I am that I haven't been able to give you the attention you deserve. You guys are the ones that make all of this possible and so I feel like I've mistreated my fans by neglecting you. I am so very, very, very sorry.



My life has been incredibly crazy. I started University again back in September. I tried to juggle my stream with school and work and had to sacrifice the stream. I was working full time and going to school full time and dumb me decided it'd be a great idea to take calculus my first term back after not having taken a math class in YEARS. I ended up spending 30+ hours a week working on calculus on top of everything else. My whole life was put on hold and it super sucked. I cried my eyes out when I couldn't compete in November at my favorite convention. It was super heartbreaking, but I was overworked as it was. Immediately after the term ended, I had to make cosplays and prepare for the Cross Country Tour. I will have to make a separate blog post next week about that---but JEEZ LOUISE I had a KILLER TIME on the Cross Country Tour. I made so many friends and just had an amazing, incredible, stupendous time. It ended with ALA and OMG I had so much fun there too. I got to meet a lot of you and it made me so happy!



I came back home, and, having missed a week of my classes, had to immediately try to catch up on classes. Sadly, I never really did and my grades suffered tremendously. I could've had straight As hahaha. Oh well. Picking Mandarin back up has been so much fun. I have really, really enjoyed my time in that class thus far. The first week back felt so humiliating because I was still warming up to my classmates (they already knew each other from the previous term) and trying to recall so much vocabulary and grammar. I'm very grateful that I didn't test into a higher level haha. It was a very "easy A" after I got settled in. I'm really looking forward to the next term. However, Japanese was quite a bit harder to fall into after missing a week. I never really caught up and didn't have like, any time to dedicate to the language. Again, school and work full time feels nearly impossible on some days. Anyway, yeah. I ended up dropping Japanese next term because I honestly can't take Chinese and Japanese at the same time again haha. Too much work. Remind me to write a blog on Mandarin some time and my experience with it. Also another one about living abroad in China. Gah. I could talk all day.



Both fall and winter terms gave me so many challenges aside from the workload. My brother almost passed away and my Godmother did pass away. My...I guess you could call him my grandpa? He has been fighting with his health off and on and almost died twice since school started. He's in the hospital right now as we speak; luckily enough he tested negative for COVID-19, but they found a new heart problem, which is scary. Oh also, my aunt passed away today. So that's cool. Things have been super rough in this manner. It's not been an easy year at all.



So yeah. That's why I've been so absent. Hopefully going forward I will have some extra time to log in and actually participate in every thing. I've been so absent from discord and actually social media in general. I had to uninstall everything during the term because I couldn't properly focus on my homework, which sucked. I think I'm finally finding an okay balance now that I've broken my social media addiction. I am actually able to put down my phone! It's been great! 



Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read this and, again, thank you so very much for your patience and kindness. It really has meant a lot to me. You guys are amazing and wonderful and *insert all the positive adjectives here*!



Peace. Love. Coffee.

~Sybil 


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